10th Wedding Anniversary
It was my 10th wedding anniversary. I decided to drive to the cute little coffee house near my home. It was decorated with antiques, plants and local art work. It served fresh baked goods and the smell of the coffee was inviting from the street. I thought, today I was going to treat myself! I deserved it. Feeling blessed and happy. Confident, like a did deserved a medal for the hard work it took to be married, happily. The ability to love someone who sometimes does not deserve it. It was hard to feel the pain and frustration of needing to always the only one to bend and compromise in a relationship. These happened to be the thoughts on my mind. I truly felt like I had put a lot of effort into my marriage. Much time. Finding things to stoke the flame of passion, willingness to conform when I felt it was ok to, keeping my family organized, loved and generally, happy. I think I deserved not only a double shot but maybe even a baked good. In my pridefully happy spirit this marked day, I found myself smiling proudly waiting in a long line of locals feverishly trying to decide what treat I would choose. When a gentleman asked me, “How are you today? You look very happy.” I replied, “Yes, It’s my tenth wedding anniversary today!” He asked, “So, tell me what’s the secret that has kept you together so long?” Blank! To this day, I do not know what I said. It was something quite full of it; most likely a cliché reply. Probably something like: most Love each other, be kind, compromise. In fact, I would joke, yes, I need a medal! Yet, in that exact moment, I truly knew what the answer was. Three letters yet, I was too scared to say it. I knew it in my heart, mind and soul but it wouldn’t come out of my mouth. In an instant, I knew I was being gently and lovingly tested. The three letters were and are GOD! God, my love and trust in Him. GOD my peace, joy and Salvation from His son, Jesus Christ who took the blame for my sins. The one who took away my sin, I just ignored. I should have glorified His work in our marriage.
Quickly, I walked back to my car, knowing I replied wrongly. I sat and prayed. I asked for forgiveness for not giving the glory, honor and praise to my Lord and Savior: God the Father. Jesus the Son and the one who nudged me in that moment, the Holy Spirit. I learned that day, that God was not mad at me. It was a learning experience in my pride of self. I fully understood in a moment that it is not me that has kept my marriage together for 10 years, it was God. His word. His promises. His unfailing love. His desire to honor the covenant of marriage through abundant blessings. The truth is, I am not able to love my spouse as well as I want to, desire or imagine. Although, when I bring God into my marriage through prayer, studying God’s word, listening to the Holy Spirit and actually do what He asks of me, then I am full of peace, joy and the ability to love well. It is God who gives, saves and takes away. It is God who loves us each dearly. He utilizes our relationships and marraiges to teach us how, to display the way to experience true love. We must mimic Jesus: be humble, seek truth, study His word, listen to the Spirit, honor one another, cherish each other, obey His ways, follow his precepts, support one another, have a willing heart to learn and grow in faith and love together. That is faith. It’s a journey of dying to oneself and learning to love another undeserving soul.
So today is my 32nd wedding anniversary. Today my answer is GOD. God and my faith is why I am happily married today. Of course, there were years that were tough, although God showed me, despite myself, how to work on me and in return He blessed me. I learned that when I focus on my one first true love, God, I can love others better, forgive others as God has forgiven me and thus gaining great inner peace and joy despite my circumstances. G O D is why I am married. Every marriage needs God to survive. Otherwise, aren’t we just trying to survive using our own unqualifies skills? Wouldn’t you rather put your trust in the one who created marriage? God loved me first, so I love him. In return, as I walk this faith journey, He opens doors full of light, grace, and mercy. Doors that I thought would never open. Love is good. Love with God is more passionate, freeing, and fulfilling. God is love. So, without God, there is no love. I pray today that you ask God to show you how to love others like He loves you. May God bless you and keep you in His holy grace. Always. Shalom. Amen.